My Last Breath
by RBCrazyFan
Summary: McSwarek - Songfic drabble #11: Sometimes it takes a little push to realize how dangerous the job is and that you need to be careful.


Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue and the song is My Last Breath by Evanescence.

A.N. I was in a really weird mood the other day when I wrote this - its not as depressing as it sounds.

* * *

Sam cursed as the man began to run. He began to chase after the man while radioing in his location.

The man led him through countless alleys. When Sam finally recognized where he was, he pressed the talk button on his radio as he continued to chase the suspect. "Send backup to -" he quickly released the button as bullets began to fly. The first one barely missed his shoulder but shattered the radio. The second one hit him in the side and he went down.

* * *

Andy and Traci were on desk when Andy's stomach suddenly dropped. She glanced around and saw Oliver Shaw walking in with his rookie. Andy rounded the desk and pulled him over to a secluded area in the station. "You know how Sam is always telling me to trust my gut?"

Oliver looked at her and nodded slowly.

"My gut is telling me Sam is in trouble."

Oliver had heard when Sam radioed in that he was chasing a suspect and knew Sam was alone. "Let's go McNally." He motioned for his rookie to stay with Traci before he and Andy ran to his car.

_Hold on to me love  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was, "I love you and I'm not afraid"  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?_

He opened his eyes with a moan of pain. He had been shot before but this pain was excruciating. He wanted Andy and didn't know where she was.

Her face suddenly came into his line of sight and he began to understand what people said about sharing the pain of a loved one. Her face showed so much anguish.

"Sam, love, please, hold on, EMS is almost here." She grabbed his hand in her own as Oliver began to apply pressure to the wound.

"Andy" he whispered her name through his pain.

Andy squeezed his hand lightly and leaned in closer. "I'm right here Sam, I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you sweetheart." He saw the tears forming in her eyes but he was too weak to brush them away. "Don't be afraid."

_Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

"Sam" she whimpered. "Please don't talk like that. It's okay. You'll be okay."

He didn't have the strength to argue with her. Thoughts of her consumed him and filled his heart. He was worried about her. He felt himself dying and knew that even when EMS got to him, there was still a chance he could die. It could all end for him tonight.

_I'll miss the winter  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears_

He wanted to reach out, to touch her one last time. He would miss winter, miss the birth of their baby. Their child would grow up without a father.

"Look for me when the snow falls" he whispered.

The tears were cascading down Andy's cheeks. She knew he was referring to her love to make snow angels. He would watch her back no matter what. He would be her angel, as she had been his.

"You're going to be okay Sam" she whispered again. She kept his hand in her hands and failed to wipe away her tears. Some of them fell onto Sam's face. His angel was crying and there was nothing he could do.

_Closing your eyes to disappear,  
You pray your dreams will leave you here;  
But still you wake and know the truth,  
No one is there..._

Andy closed her eyes. He wanted to tell her to open them so he could see her beautiful eyes one last time but he knew why they were closed. She was willing this to all be a dream. Her pain was raw and he felt it. He knew that when she woke up in the morning for the first few minutes she would not remember that he was gone. And then she would remember these events, and no one would be there for her to hold her while she cried.

_Say goodnight,  
Don't be afraid,  
Calling me,_

_Calling me_

_As you fade to black._

"Goodnight my love, don't be afraid." It took the last of his strength to say that. He felt death calling to him, telling him it was time and Andy's features suddenly faded to black.

* * *

Sam's eyes fluttered open as he heard someone softly calling "Sammy" and he felt a hand on his back. He flipped over so that he was on his back and pulled his wife towards him.

She snuggled closer to him, one hand on her growing stomach. "You okay?"

Sam closed his eyes for a moment to calm his racing heart. "Yeah. It was just a dream."

"Nightmare" she murmured as she gently caressed her stomach.

He looked at her. "Andy, did I wake you?"

She shook her head. "No. Your son or daughter is stretching." They had decided not to find out the sex of the baby.

Sam touched her stomach and leaned closer. "Little one, your mommy needs to sleep now."

Andy giggled but the baby stopped moving around. "Thank you."

Sam pulled her close. The dream had been real, too real. It was a stark reminder to him that he wasn't invincible and he had to be careful. He was no longer 15th's "bad boy". He did not want his child to grow up without a father; his wife to raise a child without a husband.

* * *

A.N. Let me know what you think - reviews make my day!


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